1. Leave your glasses at home and drive 20cm from somebody’s back bumper.
2. When coming on to a motorway, pull straight out in to the left lane, come what may.
3. Stay in this lane at 80 km/h to cause the maximum amount of inconvenience.
4. Prior to exiting, overtake, cut in, slam on the brakes, and then come off.
5. Drive just below the speed limit. Accelerate only when you see that others could have passed safely.
6. Overtake on a blind corner; how else would you know if your airbag works?
7. At a roundabout, ambush those who have priority by accelerating before entering it.
8. Never use your indicators except in the case of an insurance-claim.
9. Always cut the corner when turning left on to a new road.
10. I’ve got a four-wheel drive; get out of my way.
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